Pieces of my Heart
by Sugarbear16
Summary: A heart is a funny thing once its broken it may never be the same again. Maybe it gets better, maybe it gets worse, and just maybe everything you have ever wanted is finally within in your reach. This is a Densi fic. Set in season five, read inside for more info.


**A/N: This is a 100% Densi fic I promise. This is set after Kensi sees Jack and how things progress from there.**

Sometimes things get broken, and they can never go back to the way they were before. But what is so good about going back? Isn't the point in life to move forward? When given the opportunity sometimes two broken pieces can turn into one beautiful thing when they are put together in just the right way.

Her mind raced a million miles a minuet, her judgment had been clouded. What the hell was I thinking? What the hell am I doing here? Kensi wondered to herself as she paced the room for the 569th time that night. Her heart was hammering out of control, her hands were trembling with fear, and she was a complete mess right now. She couldn't get a grip on the situation; she couldn't even get a grip on herself at the moment. She was mad, no she wasn't mad she was pissed. But at who? Herself? Granger, Hetty, the whole damn world? So many emotions and thoughts took over her mind right now. She couldn't sit still long enough to process any of them.

"Get yourself together Blye." She whispered to herself. Well, that was easier said than done now wasn't it. She exhaled and sat down on the edge of her bed.

Did she really just see what she thought she saw? Did she really do what she just did? "Damn it." She cursed allowed to the emptiness of the room. She closed her eyes trying to get herself together.

Ten years it had been since she had seen him or heard from him. Ten years ago he ripped her heart out, without a second thought about it and vanished from her life. Now everything she thought she knew, everything she thought she believed was being questioned. Did she really even know anything about why he left? Was this why? Was he taken on a secret mission like she had been or was he in fact the mission? God, she hated feeling like this. Kensi hated having all these thoughts and emotions running wild. She felt like she was going into panic mode right now. So she did the only thing she knew to do. She turned to the only person she knew who could get her through anything.

She grabbed her phone and without hesitation, without a doubt she dialed one of the only two numbers she had in this phone. The phone only rang three times before it was picked up.

"Hey." He whispered.

She didn't say anything; she couldn't find the words to clarify everything she wanted to tell him. Her end of the line was noiseless, like it had been years ago when she had called him just to hear his voice in the process of tracking down her father's killer. Knowing her the way he did, he knew something was wrong right off the bat. Deeks didn't have to hear her speak to know there was something off in the tone of her voice. He didn't have to see her hands tremble as she held the phone with a death grip to her ear, and he didn't have to see the tears that threatened to overtake her any given minuet to feel the pain she was going through.

"Talk to me Kens. What is it? What is wrong?" He questioned her.

"Its, I.. He." Kensi babbled. Shaking her head no.

"Sunshine, I usually follow you on everything, but this time I am going to need a little more than pronouns sweetheart. Who did what?" Deeks asked.

"Jack." She replied as if that explained everything.

"Jack, your ex marine Jack?"

Kensi nodded her head yes, and then realized Deeks could not see her response this way. "Yes, he is here." Kensi said.

"What? Why? How?" Deeks demanded.

"I don't know. I don't know anything. Every time I try to find out something Granger shuts me down. No one will tell me what I am doing here, and now this. I .. its just I.. "

"You wonder if he is the bad guy or if he is undercover?"

"Yes. It makes me wonder, I just I.." Kensi stopped herself from saying the words she was about to speak to Deeks.

"You wonder if this is the reason he left you. If he didn't have a choice, like you didn't have a choice when Granger and Hetty took you away from me."

"Yes. I need to know. I have to know."

"Then find out." Deeks replied.

"How?" Kensi questioned.

"However you can. But for the love of God be careful, and Kens if he is the mission."

"I will have to kill him." She said.

"Can you do that?" Deeks asked as he stood up from his couch he was currently sitting on.

"I don't know. Maybe." She said honestly.

"You know I am always here for you as long as you need me." Deeks explained.

"How does forever work for you?"

"Forever sounds perfect." Deeks said with a chuckle.

"I wish you were here to tell me what to do." Kensi admitted as she leaned back against the wall.

"Now, you and I both know you would not listen to me even if I was there. We would just banter about it, I would make some inappropriate joke and you would punch me in the shoulder, and we would laugh about it." Deeks said trying to lighten the mood.

Kensi laughed for the first time since yesterday morning. "You always know what to say to make things ok."

"That is because no one out there knows you the way I do princess." Deeks reminded her.

"I think for the first time since we have become partners I am going to have to say I agree with you."

"You agree? Damn, why is there no one around to witness this revelation?"

"Bite me."

Deeks laughed.

"Don't just don't." Kensi said.

"What? I didn't say anything." Deeks said trying to fake his innocence.

"But you were thinking it."

"Apparently I wasn't the only one thinking it sugar bear. In fact I bet money that you're blushing right about now."

Kensi sighed, as she curled her feet up on the bed with her. "How do you do that? How do you know me so well?" Kensi wondered.

"I have made it my life's mission to know everything there is to know about you Kensi Marie Blye."

Kensi yawned, "Time to go to sleep princess. You have a lot of work ahead of you." Deeks said.

"I don't want to sleep."

"That is a lie. You always want to sleep. Now lay down, close your eyes and pretended I am laying there beside you. I'm holding you in my arms, your head is resting on my chest and I am running my fingers through your hair the way you love me to. Then let me whisper in your ear that everything is going to be alright right before I kiss you good night." Deeks explained.

"That sounds like a wonderful dream." Kensi admitted.

"Sleep tight princess and one day soon your dreams will come true." Deeks replied.

"Good night Deeks." She whispered.

"Good night my love." He said without faltering.

"Deeks I…"

"I know, you don't have to say it until you're ready."

"Sweet dreams Deeks."

"Sweet dreams princess." Deeks said before hanging up the phone.

Kensi ended the call and laid back in her bed. She exhaled as she thought of the work she had ahead of her. As much as she was dreading this, she needed this to be done one way or another. Tomorrow it began.

Deeks sat down on the couch he had previously occupied as he tried to get a grasp on the situation. Things were a giant mess for Kensi right now, and he wanted more than anything to be the one to pick the pieces up for her and help her make since of things. In his heart he knew that as badly as he wanted to do that for her, he couldn't. No one could. This one battle she was going to have to fight alone. Love is a complicated bitch sometimes, but in the end it will always be worth it when your heart knows what it wants. His heart wants her, know, then and forever, there was not a doubt about that.

**A/N: Should I continue this? **


End file.
